


Let's All Just Ignore the Worrying Things and Focus on Boyfriends

by benevolentmonolithicc



Category: The Magnus Archives (Podcast)
Genre: Canon Compliant, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Fluff without Plot, M/M, Post-Episode: s05e171 The Gardener
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-11
Updated: 2020-06-11
Packaged: 2021-03-04 05:15:19
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 920
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24668221
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/benevolentmonolithicc/pseuds/benevolentmonolithicc
Summary: Boyfriend was such a loaded word, but it was the only thing in Martin’s mind. So much had happened, was happening, was always happening, and yet there that word was, dinging around like a Windows screensaver in Martin's brain.
Relationships: Martin Blackwood/Jonathan "Jon" Sims | The Archivist
Comments: 16
Kudos: 186





	Let's All Just Ignore the Worrying Things and Focus on Boyfriends

Boyfriend was such a loaded word, but it was the only thing in Martin’s mind. So much had happened, was happening, was always happening, and yet there that word was, dinging around like a Windows screensaver in Martin's brain. 

Boyfriends. Jon had said they were boyfriends. A couple of years ago Martin might have had a heart attack there and then, and he sort of was now all things considered. How many times had he dreamed of him and Jon as boyfriends? Of them together on a quiet night just holding each other by a crackling fire or some other poetic nonsense. But he’d never really thought of them as boyfriends, no matter how happy he was Jon had said it.

On TV, and movies too to some extent, that word was like poison. And maybe straight people were just like that, afraid of labels and commitment, even though Martin had definitely met a few guys like that himself. But even still it had kind of...put him off to ever really thinking of himself as being someone’s boyfriend. But he was someone’s boyfriend and had a boyfriend of his own who was smart and adorable and who made him feel like everything was going to be alright, no matter where they were or what they were seeing. If his boyfriend was there, everything was roses.

Having a boyfriend. It had always felt like such an abstract goal to Martin, like going to the moon or watching a Tarantino movie that didn’t have a gratuitous foot fetish scene. But here he was, his boyfriend’s hand in his. Goal accomplished. 

Martin blamed the kids at school, (and just all of the 2000s if he was being honest) for his baggage with the word. He’d grown up around people like Jared Hopworth and their snide comments. He’d never had someone to tell them off like that or make them die in the fear they’d caused others. Martin liked it. He liked having a boyfriend. He liked his boyfriend being Jon, being Jon’s boyfriend in return, and the way that the word felt on his lips as he silently repeated it like a song of who's lyrics you only knew one word.

Jon had been so cavalier in its usage too. Like he didn’t feel the weight of what it meant like it was the most natural thing in the world to have a boyfriend and have that boyfriend be Martin. Martin envied that. He envied how easy it was for Jon to just drop that word, and hold Martin’s hand, and say that he loved him over and over until Martin could almost believe him. Like being with Martin, like loving him, was the easiest thing in the world. No one had ever been like that before, not with Martin. Not parents nor partners. And it was everything to Martin and more.

Boyfriends. It was like a power source, a little generator that kept you going through a meat garden, a greenhouse of insecurities you bottled up until you looked at its terrible visage, and wondered how you would bloom. Martin knew how he looked. What people thought of him when they saw him, could practically hear what they were begging to say to him because his mother said those things to him before, and worse he’d found himself saying them too. Boyfriends. It was his life preserver, and he was clinging to it, closing his eyes and holding his boyfriend’s hand tight, trying not to think of anything but that word, especially not his own skin and how he felt in it as he heard the skin of others turn and change and crack. Boyfriends, boyfriends, boyfriends.

“Are you alright, Martin? You’ve been quiet ever since we left the garden.” Jon was there. His boyfriend was there. He was holding Martin’s hand and looking at him lovingly. Kindly. Worriedly.

“Yeah, I just…I don’t know.” Martin made a face. “The Flesh is just not my jam, you know?” 

Jon smiled weakly. “I do know.” 

He still looked worried, and Martin rubbed his hand with his thumb. “I’m alright, Jon, honest.” 

“Good.” They were quiet for a moment, the only sound being the distant moans from the Mortal Garden and the soft crunch of not quite earth under their feet.

“Boyfriend.” 

Jon gave Martin a confused, albeit loving look “What?”

“Earlier?” Martin started to sweat a little, his confidence and excitement shriveling like an orchid in the dark. “You said we were-”

“Oh. Yes, right I did, didn’t I?” Jon let the confusion melt from his face into a nervous smile. “Is that alright? I mean, are you comfortable with it?”

“Of course,” said Martin, matching his smile. “More than just comfortable, even. I like it.”

“That’s good to hear.” Jon rested his head onto Martin’s shoulder comfortably, like Martin’s shoulder was made for his head to rest there. Martin let him. It was a familiar weight at this point, homey and loving, and like everything that he had dreamed it to be. Here he was, walking through the end times with his boyfriend’s hand in his, and fitting into him like a lock to a key. 

“Jon?”

“Mm?” Jon lifted his head from Martin’s shoulder just a little to stare into his boyfriend’s eyes.

“I love you.” 

Jon nestled back into his spot on Martin’s shoulder and raised his hand to his lips to kiss it. “I love you too, Martin.”

And Martin believed him and loved his boyfriend right back.

**Author's Note:**

> That title goes for Martin and me. I'm on team "Lets Just Ignore that This is a Tragedy." I'm just going to stare a cannon ace relationship and hum very loudly, and pretend that Jonny's just yanking our chain about how much this is going to emotionally destroy me. I've listened to the Mechs and he's super not, but what if?????? Help me. Please. I'm going to die, but maybe if I cant the word boyfriends enough everything will be okay. Boyfriends. Boyfriends. BoyfrIENDS. BOYFRIENDS. BOYFRIENDS BOYFRIENDS BOYFRIENDSBOYFRIENDSBOYFRIENDS IT'S NOT WORKING HELP ME!


End file.
